Social Psychology
Ada two subjects yang selalu buat I menangis during revision, Mathematics and Physics. Both subjects memang jauh dari jiwa I, even sampai sekarang pun. Dulu sambil-sambil nangis sebab over depression nak exam, I always questioned myself, why did I have to learn the subjects? What did I get from learning the subjects? How on earth I am engaged to study Maths and Physics? All the questions which indicated that I did not have motivation or any purpose or any direction in both subjects. Padan muka, I memang tak excel pun dalam Maths and Physics, walaupun dalam SPM I got A1 for my Modern Maths and A2 for my Add Maths, but trust me, I actually did not deserve it. And my Physics really sucked, up until my time in matriculation. Physics was the culprit that I didn’t get straight A’s in my 1999 SPM. Ironically I am married to an engineer, who always did well in his Maths and Physics, and who always has ground untuk mengutuk kebodohan dan kedunguan I untuk faham even the basic concepts of Maths and Physics. Takpelah, at least anak-anak I dapatlah juga inherit traits bab-bab terror Maths and Physics ni. And if they do well in both subjects, so tahulah kan genetic tu datang dari mana, not from me of course!
Today I would like to add one more subject to the list, Social Psychology. Uwaa!!!!! I bodoh dalam Maths and Physics, agaknya I memang bodoh dalam Science, maybe I could do well in art stream. Tapi Social Pyschology pun I tak excel juga, apa cerita ni? Serius cakap, sepanjang-panjang semester I tak score dalam subjek ni. From the very first week I dah reserved subject ni to be the killer subject which has potential to drag down my second semester pointer. Initial feeling does affect your performance later on, awal-awal lagi dah menyerah kalah, macam mana nak highly motivated to take extra efforts. Itulah yang terjadi pada I. Hari ni I habis jawab final exam paper for this subject, and do you know how I feel? A great emotional burden released!
There was nothing wrong with the lecturer. She is good, kind, supportive. Her lecture style was okay, she would use every single minute efficiently to deliver her lecture notes, that we never ended the class earlier. I am sure she is aware betapa menyampahnya kitorang dengan syllabus dalam Social Psychology ni, but she has done her best as lecturer. Masa study week, she did say, dia kecewa dengan my batch sebab budak-budak pandai pun tak mampu nak score. Hmm… kalau budak-budak pandai pun tak score, I dah boleh visualize myself ada kat rating keberapa. I tak pernah ponteng kelas dia, except when Adham was admitted, yet I still couldn’t catch up. I buat assignment sungguh-sungguh, but still tak faham apa yang I buat.
Benarlah Allah Maha Bijak memberi pengajaran pada hamba-hamba-Nya. Selama ni I was a science stream student, people perceive science students are better than art stream students. When I was in form four, masa tu dah timbul minat untuk jadi lawyer, even though my original ambition was to be a gynaecologist. I masuk kelas agama. Ramai cikgu bising because they thought a 9A PMR student patut buat sains. Then in March I moved to science class. I managed to do well, but still I found myself no where in Maths and Physics. Berbalik kepada pengajaran tadi, now I insaf memikirkan betapa salahnya stereotype belief people have that art stream is simpler, easier and suitable untuk orang-orang yang tak berapa success in studies. Yelah, zaman sekolah dulu, kalau result PMR tak bagus, cikgu terus assigned masuk kelas agama. Now after only one semester of Social Psychology, I adore my friends yang berjaya habiskan their degree in art stream.
Now Abang is a shift executive, he has to manage people in his group. Sometimes Abang cakap, dia lebih suka dealing with tools and machines daripada dealing dengan orang. Abang cakap I am better in management of people than him. Entahlah, it is not proven yet. Tapi memang nak deal dengan orang, it will be a great advantage if you have foundation in social psychology. Banyak yang kita belajar dalam subjek ni. Humans are subjective, banyak theories produced and researches done in order to study and explain human’s feelings, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. Yet, still there are lots of exceptions, unexplained and uncertainties. Untuk mengkaji semua ni, kita perlukan pemikir, as I have said, humans are subjective. Bukan macam teori dalam sains, ada certain rules yang sentiasa dipatuhi, most of them are objective. Sebab tu pemikir-pemikir tentang manusia ni mestilah orang yang bijak. Siapa kata scientists aje kena bijak? I masih mencari chemistry antara I dengan subjek Social Psychology ni, I dah nampak kepentingannya, tapi I masih mencari-cari minat dan kesungguhan I untuk mendalaminya.
